Today it starts. It is always said that- you're not done till you're done. So I've decided I'm finally done with bad habits and my rebelwithoutacause ways.
In the book "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk he says that "until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against." I think this characterizes our adolescence, and sometimes lingers into adulthood. I've finally managed to put an aim to certain projects and ideas (that I seem to produce in excess, but less of which manifest). Of course, I will still be fighting against things- injustice, bureaucracy, the powers that be- but I will transform this restlessness into a more constructive energy.
Countries in which terrible crimes against humanity have occurred have options to safeguard their human rights: reconciliation, the reconstruction of a collective memory so that history will not repeat itself; and persecution that itself, serves a similar purpose of retribution. I think once you make the distinction as to which serves your purpose, then you're making steps forward. Do you count your losses and begin to heal- OR- do you try to take down those who have wronged you? As I undergo transformation with disposable New Year's Resolutions to loosely structure the dawning of a new year of incredible adventure and possibility bubbling just under the surface, I recall a saying I learned a few years ago at the Haitian Church I used to (and sometimes still do) attend:
A PYE NOU YE.
It sounds like you're saying "Happy New Year!" with an accent, but it translates to- "We are on our feet," which is what everyone says to each other, to say that at least we are still on our feet.
The 9-5pm grind may have mellowed me considerably, and "practicality" makes frequent cameos is conversations and future planning, but I have not lost the fight in me. I approach the new year through an adult lens that is panoramic in scope. I'm fighting against complacency and for all of the things I believe in, which are many. But I'm still standing, which means I have a lot to truly be grateful for. Turning potential into kinetic this new year... still standing.
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